Monday, July 19, 2004
A Woman of Substance
Or: The Secret Story of My Life
Open: I am the beautiful yet very old Deborah Kerr - you may know me from such things as "From Here to Eternity" and "An Affair to Remember" - I play the mega rich and successful Emma Harte, owner of Hartes (this is in no way a complete rip off of Harrods, especially not the huge London based location and identical logo).
Here in the golden years of my life I am being threatened by my own kin - my two feckless sons Kit and Robin and possibly my haughty and difficult daughter Edwina. The latter is the product of my liaison with Edwin, son of Squire Fairley and the reason I have become the person I am today. (I have other children too but we don't know their plans yet).
It is showdown time at the place I've always called home - Yorkshire - the place where from my humble beginnings I learnt the value of hard work, money and that revenge is a worthy motivator. A winning smile also helps when you have no dialogue.
*flashback*
It's me again, this time the beautiful and very young Jenny Seagrove - you will know me.... from my winning smile. You can tell I'm from up north because I say 'our Frank' 'our mum' or 'our dad' alot. However to cover my posh accent later on you hear me say 'I am learning to speak proper, I mean properly.'
I work hard and I am resourceful, incurring the gratitude of the sickly *cough* alcoholic *cough* mistress of the house and the love and attentions of the young sensitive Master Edwin. Edwin has a brother the dastardly Gerald. Remember him he will become a lifelong foe.
One morning Emma meets the new handy man - Blackie O'Neill - you can tell I'm Irish because I say 'sure' alot. And is it, could it be? Why yes it's the babyfaced Liam Neeson. Remember him, he will be a lifelong and trusted friend. Blackie says to come to Leeds and make your fortune. I remember his advice wisely. "Come to the Mucky Duck Inn, sure, and ask for Rose, she'll get a message to me."
And so the inevitable happens and I fall in love with Mr Edwin on the Yorkshire Moors. One day we are caught in a rain storm and get wet and shelter in a cave. We are very wet, why so wet all our clothes must come off and Edwin must rub my cold arms for warm. This is a well known prelude to sex.
Afterwards, or was it before, I discover some late 19th century graffiti on the wall. It says Adam *hearts* Elizabeth. Who could that be I think. My mother is called Elizabeth and Squire Farley is Adam. Let's forget about this plot development till much later.
Plot summary: I am pregnant, Edwin doesn't stand by me, I vow to be rich and have revenge on all the Fairleys and go to Leeds where I recall Blackie's words and head for the Mucky Duck. In no time at all I've found somewhere to live and a job where I can show that I am resourceful and hardworking and before you know it I've opened my own shop - which I achieve with my winning smile from the landlord Joe. Baby Edwina, for what else could I call her, has gone to my cousins until I make my fortune. I am known as Mrs Harte.
One day Gerald appears at my new Emma Harte Emporium. He threatens me and wants Edwina but I fight him off using a handy cake knife and we both vow revenge on each other. I decide to marry Joe.
Flashforward: A few years on, Joe and I live well in Leeds and we have a son of our own, Kit. Edwina completes our family. I work hard at my empire. I am the Martha Stewart of my day. I bake cakes, design clothes and supply provisions that undercut every other local shopkeeper. I have a sound business mind. However my daughter resents me.
My husband loves me but I spur his advances with a disdainful look, it is unlikely we will have a second child. However when war is declared and all my loved ones join up I realise I care for Joe and the safety he has given me.
I continue to grow my empire by cashing in on the war and buying a mill right from under the noses of the Fairleys. Gerald vows revenge. Again.
Then one day whilst building bridges with my distant daughter a telegram arrives. I don't attempt to stop a precocious eight year old read the telegram that announces her beloved (step) father has been killed.
For the concluding part please insert disc 2 into the DVD.
Open: I am the beautiful yet very old Deborah Kerr - you may know me from such things as "From Here to Eternity" and "An Affair to Remember" - I play the mega rich and successful Emma Harte, owner of Hartes (this is in no way a complete rip off of Harrods, especially not the huge London based location and identical logo).
Here in the golden years of my life I am being threatened by my own kin - my two feckless sons Kit and Robin and possibly my haughty and difficult daughter Edwina. The latter is the product of my liaison with Edwin, son of Squire Fairley and the reason I have become the person I am today. (I have other children too but we don't know their plans yet).
It is showdown time at the place I've always called home - Yorkshire - the place where from my humble beginnings I learnt the value of hard work, money and that revenge is a worthy motivator. A winning smile also helps when you have no dialogue.
*flashback*
It's me again, this time the beautiful and very young Jenny Seagrove - you will know me.... from my winning smile. You can tell I'm from up north because I say 'our Frank' 'our mum' or 'our dad' alot. However to cover my posh accent later on you hear me say 'I am learning to speak proper, I mean properly.'
I work hard and I am resourceful, incurring the gratitude of the sickly *cough* alcoholic *cough* mistress of the house and the love and attentions of the young sensitive Master Edwin. Edwin has a brother the dastardly Gerald. Remember him he will become a lifelong foe.
One morning Emma meets the new handy man - Blackie O'Neill - you can tell I'm Irish because I say 'sure' alot. And is it, could it be? Why yes it's the babyfaced Liam Neeson. Remember him, he will be a lifelong and trusted friend. Blackie says to come to Leeds and make your fortune. I remember his advice wisely. "Come to the Mucky Duck Inn, sure, and ask for Rose, she'll get a message to me."
And so the inevitable happens and I fall in love with Mr Edwin on the Yorkshire Moors. One day we are caught in a rain storm and get wet and shelter in a cave. We are very wet, why so wet all our clothes must come off and Edwin must rub my cold arms for warm. This is a well known prelude to sex.
Afterwards, or was it before, I discover some late 19th century graffiti on the wall. It says Adam *hearts* Elizabeth. Who could that be I think. My mother is called Elizabeth and Squire Farley is Adam. Let's forget about this plot development till much later.
Plot summary: I am pregnant, Edwin doesn't stand by me, I vow to be rich and have revenge on all the Fairleys and go to Leeds where I recall Blackie's words and head for the Mucky Duck. In no time at all I've found somewhere to live and a job where I can show that I am resourceful and hardworking and before you know it I've opened my own shop - which I achieve with my winning smile from the landlord Joe. Baby Edwina, for what else could I call her, has gone to my cousins until I make my fortune. I am known as Mrs Harte.
One day Gerald appears at my new Emma Harte Emporium. He threatens me and wants Edwina but I fight him off using a handy cake knife and we both vow revenge on each other. I decide to marry Joe.
Flashforward: A few years on, Joe and I live well in Leeds and we have a son of our own, Kit. Edwina completes our family. I work hard at my empire. I am the Martha Stewart of my day. I bake cakes, design clothes and supply provisions that undercut every other local shopkeeper. I have a sound business mind. However my daughter resents me.
My husband loves me but I spur his advances with a disdainful look, it is unlikely we will have a second child. However when war is declared and all my loved ones join up I realise I care for Joe and the safety he has given me.
I continue to grow my empire by cashing in on the war and buying a mill right from under the noses of the Fairleys. Gerald vows revenge. Again.
Then one day whilst building bridges with my distant daughter a telegram arrives. I don't attempt to stop a precocious eight year old read the telegram that announces her beloved (step) father has been killed.
For the concluding part please insert disc 2 into the DVD.
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